2015 almost over!

Wow, it's weird to think that the year 2015 is almost over..and we are going to be starting 2016. My husband recently got licensed as a pastor, and is the youth pastor at our church. It is an interesting spot that I am in right now, because most of the time I keep the baby while he is doing what he needs to do. He has another job also because he doesn't get payed for what he does at the church. When he does youthgroup I am at home right now because there is no one to watch our daughter, and I know the people get annoyed with the thought of our daughter there because she becomes a "distraction" Which is quite frustrating to me, because I would like to feel like part of the church again! I feel like I don't do anything, and that's frustrating. 

Thankful

This year has been so wonderful, and there is so much to be thankful for. Especially forgiveness...because ...I have not written on this thing in so long -_- lol!
 I am pregnant (18 weeks now) and 19 tomorrow. I cannot even believe it! I am so excited. Yesterday we were able to look at the baby for a little while and t was so wonderful just to watch the baby jumping around, and waving and oh my life it was so fun.
 More then that I am so thankful for the family i have been given, and the friends that I have made.
 God has blessed us with a good church family, an amazing biological family, and just everything he has blessed us with,
Today as we sit around the tv watching the parade with one neice, and our one nephew it is just so wonderful to have a lot of fun. I just....man I love it. They are so funny and so loud ...lol

Genesis

Genesis 37:::Joseph was a favorite of his fathers, but def not of his brothers. They wanted him gone. They did not plan on bowing down to their youngest brother. They wanted to kill him, but his brother Reuban wanted to save him. So he made a plan to leave him there, and then go back and get him when the brothers left. unfortunately he did not get to do that. He was sold into slavery.       We don’t know why God allows us to go through things that are so hard..but we can take solace in the fact that jeremiah 29:11 is a truth that we are to stick to (look it up!!)
Genesis 50:20::(great verse) So many times people don’t plan on hurting us with a higher purpose, But God has them right there for us. Sometimes we don’t know the answer right away, but again we can trust that He has something for us to learn!

“God gives us a cross to bear to send us to our knees in prayer”

58days

58 days until I am Mrs.Ford! It is probably one of the most exciting things I am going to be able to ever say! It has also been one of the most challenging, growing things...I have ever worked up to in my life....It is difficult not knowing exactly what God has for us, it's difficult not knowing where we are going to live, or what we are going to do.....
         I know God has plans for us, and I know that he is going to do awesome things in our lives..but sometimes i wish I didn't have to wait so long to find out =\
in 58 days...we will be on our way to our honeymoon. which is very exciting...but we will also be on our way back to maybe a new ministry? Maybe...this word continues to bother me -_-
       God is so good to me..and my fiance, and he is proving this other ways but *sigh* OY
                               I would appreciate prayers, as we need to get a lot of things ready, and we need to get a lot of things done.........58 days
58 days...
 Oh Lord give me strength to trust you in these days moving forward.....

Long Night

OY!
planning a wedding seemingly without your fiance is a pain in the butt! I know that He is there, and that he is working hard on ministry things, and trying to make it so we have enough time together...so I cannot really say much..but it is still hard sometimes =\. tonight was especially hard. I did all the save the dates by myself. He went to youthgroup, and then stayed after to talk with a pastor friend of his for....close to 4hours after, and that led to like...almost 1am.
 It doesn't bother me that he is out that long...it is frustrating when he tells me he will be home at 10, and then isn't for..another couple hours...
 UGH selfishness... i will get over this one day? .....*shrugs*
 We talked for a long time when he got home ,explaining how we each felt and he just broke down letting me know how he felt like there just wasn't enough time in the day...I just hurt for him. I don't know what to do. I know he has so much to do, and so many dreams in his head he wants to chase for God....am i hindering him? in wanting him to be with me to help for the wedding? .... .
                  I am so proud of him and told him so :)...I love him so much and can't wait to see what God has for us...but man this planning a wedding and him having to work, and do ministry and .....make time for me...oy lol ....

  God i am asking you for strength for both of us as this is a stressful time. We don't know where we are going or whats going to happen..but we do know who is in control...and who is our help <3 .....Thank you Lord for knowing

Not offical

I know it isn't quite official yet. I am only engaged.. and He is still a youth pastor, not a senior pastor (BUT STILL) even know it is rough...and I want to be able to help,encourage, or....maybe learn from people reading this!!
(if anyone does) if not...just me talking to God i suppose lol...i've always worked better this way anyway....
  BUT YES ....
this is my random blog for this :)